The wrong road?
Did I take a wrong turning perhaps?
Was it in response to an itch? A wanting to be somebody?

Of course I am somebody.
Everybody’s somebody.
But this exposes a flaw, a need.

To think you can only be somebody if people notice you and praise you
is a risky attitude.
To have a strategy that forces you to do and create can place you
into the hamster’s wheel of ought and should.

True, something does get created out of all that suffering.
People will remember your work.
But inside yourself you know how the wizard of oz felt.
Behind that mask of fame and authority hides a meek man,
a man who is frightened of disappearing or getting lost if he is not seen.

Funny, really:
because you do make music that is needed.
Your books, that you consider failures because not many read them
have helped some in their healing days.

Everyone does something – that is living.
But the wrong road doesn’t exist.
It is a fantasy to look back and think you could time travel your way out of the place
that your ‘wrong’ turning took you to.

You took it
and you can mull over why
and maybe learn something from that.